hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
