Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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