I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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