i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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