I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
