just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
