it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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