YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
