these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
