He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
