Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
