1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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