she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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