My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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