no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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