she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
