dude i'm inner monologue high
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
