Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The uberlube is also flammable
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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