Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
