Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
