I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
