I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
