i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
