he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
