He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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