3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your tits are I can't wait for
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
