this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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