she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
