i think my mom watched the whole time
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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