sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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