It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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