Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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