I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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