If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Even my vagina gasped.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
