Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
this will be a night to untag.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is Oprah even human
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
