And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
