At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
