who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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