Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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