if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
