How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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