I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize