o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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