he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Im part way to drunk.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
