Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
