Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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