I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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