What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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