six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
