real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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