Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize