he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
