drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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