dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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