i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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