around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize