I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
