I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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