Michael Bay diarrhea
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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