So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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