If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
