You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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