you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
