So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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