I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
