i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
