Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
