eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
