were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
