Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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