So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
